When I was growing up I can remember my grandparents who were in their sixties and I thought I hope I never get that old.  As most children do, they look at older adults and think they’re ancient.  In fact in my family and social circle—which was primarily blue-collar hard labor working class—most people did age fast and hard.  This was especially true since most of them also drank heavy and smoked like chimneys. 

Today at age 60 I don’t look or feel “ancient” or “old.”  I’ve been blessed to be in recovery for almost half of my life now and not working at “hard labor” anymore.  In fact I changed careers in my early thirties after injuring myself in a construction accident.  At the time I thought my life was over and not worth living.  I see it so much different today.  Today I am able to take in the wisdom of my Sensei Richard Kim who often said no matter what comes your way find something in the experience to be grateful for.  He also said when life gets tough say “Thank you adversity for yet another test.” 

Today I live with an “attitude of gratitude.”  Each day I write 10 things I’m grateful for.  At the end of the month I review my entire gratitude list for the month and pick my top 30 items.  At the end of the year I review all the month’s top 30 items and pick the top 30 for the entire year.  I have found it is impossible to be devastated by any uncomfortable emotion or experience if I can shift to gratitude.

In my thirties I went back to school and trained to be a counselor and started working with people who also were living with chronic pain and they were also living with an active addictive disorder to their pain medication.  Also, in my late thirties the first health and the very best possible relationship came my way—my partner in life and business; Ellen.  Ellen and I celebrated 22 years married earlier this year and it just keeps getting better.  I would not have even met Ellen if not for my recovery journey.

In my forties I again went back to school and this time got a Masters Degree in Psychology and trained to become a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  In my late forties and early fifties I again went back to school and got my Doctorate in Addictive disorders.

In my forties I also started learning how to write for professionals and pain patients and co-authored my first books.  In my early fifties I soloed and authored and co-authored other books.  I was very fortunate to have a great mentor—Terence T. Gorski—who is now not only my mentor but a close personal friend.  He not only taught me how to write in “Earth Language” he also taught me how to teach and skill train healthcare professionals.

In my fifties I fine-tuned my teaching and training skills and since 1996 I have trained well over 15,000 healthcare providers.  Each time I conduct a training I’m also learning more from my students.  I hope to continue refining and improving my presentation skill all through my sixties and beyond. 

The past thirty years I have been very blessed to be able to strive to fulfill my mission statement to—teach people how to help people.  I’ve also been blessed to live the principles of recovery and healthy living and not harming others.  After getting out of the US Marine Corps in my twenties I was not such a gentle person.  In fact, I physically and psychologically harmed many people.  Part of my recovery is to make amends for the wreckage and harm I caused to others.  One way I do that is to not be violent—in the broad sense of not imposing my will on others or causing harm—and to teach other men not to be violent.

A major payoff for taking good care of myself is that I don’t “look my age.”  People often think I’m kidding them when I tell them how old I am.  In fact I’m the oldest in my family and physically look younger than them all. 

I’ve also lived with chronic pain for most of the past thirty years and for all but the first two years I have not suffered with my pain.  My pain condition is not an adversary but rather my best friend.  I don’t fight my pain so therefore it doesn’t wear me down or age me.  It’s not always easy however, but as long as I don’t get into suffering I know all will be well.

A couple of weeks ago I became a “Great Grandfather” and that really blows my mind because my great grandfathers were dead way before I was even born.  I was a grandfather at age forty and a father at age nineteen.  Two and a half years ago my father died at age seventy seven.  I know that unless something totally unexpected happens my life-expectancy can be well over that.  However, I don’t want to go for quantity of life-span but rather live a quality life; one day at a time.
 

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