Pain is Inevitable but Suffering is Optional When Living with a Chronic Pain Condition

Posted on Friday, January the 23rd at 12:32am

By: Dr. Stephen F. Grinstead, LMFT, ACRPS, CADC-II

Not only have I been working as a therapist and trainer in the field of chronic pain and coexisting disorders for more than 25 years, I have been living with my own chronic pain condition for over 27 years. I still have periodic episodes of pain flare ups where I need to put into practice all that I’ve learned and like everyone living with a chronic pain condition some days are better than others. But even on the bad days, one thing is certain – pain does not control my life.

I want to talk about something I had to resolve for myself early on in my own recovery. I always ask the patients I work with and the clinicians I train to consider this question – are you willing to make peace with your pain or continue to suffer?  In essence what I’m asking them is: are you willing to do what is necessary to make pain your friend and move on with your life?  As you might imagine and perhaps you’re thinking this yourself, they looked at me like I’ve lost my mind and have told me so in no uncertain terms!  Nevertheless the question opened up the door for a deeper level of healing to begin. 

When you are willing to consider that your pain can be more of an ally than an enemy, the next step to developing an effective chronic pain management plan is to learn all you can about your pain and how to intervene in an appropriate way that continually improves the quality of your life.

Our pain system is a crucial component of the human body and essential to our survival. Can you imagine what would happen if we didn’t have pain receptors and we kept putting ourselves in situations that seriously damaged our body?  Picture this: you’re in the kitchen talking on the phone and you inadvertently put your hand down on a hot burner. Without pain receptors your first indication that something was wrong would be the smell of burning flesh—yours!

Whenever you are experiencing pain, it’s helpful to ask: “What is my pain trying to tell me?”  Pain is the signal that says something is wrong; that you need to find out what is it, and then learn how to manage it. Sometimes it can be difficult if not impossible to pinpoint the pain generator, and as human beings we want to know why something is happening. But when we’re in pain the more important question is, “What can I do, right now, to manage my pain in a healthy way that supports me physically, emotionally and spiritually?” The answer will be different for each person.

But what if you can’t answer that question because your pain has become unmanageable, no matter what you try? This brings us to a discussion of pain versus suffering. The psychological meaning that you assign to a physical pain signal will determine whether you simply feel pain (“Ouch, this hurts!”) or experience suffering (“This pain awful and will just keep getting worse; this is terrible and why is it happening to me!”). Although pain and suffering are often used interchangeably, there is an important distinction that needs to be made. Pain is a warning signal telling you that something is wrong with your body. Suffering results from the meaning or interpretation your brain assigns to the pain signal.

Many people believe that: “I shouldn’t have pain!” or “Because I have pain and I’m having trouble managing my pain, there must be something wrong with me.” A big step toward effective pain management occurs when you can reduce your level of suffering by identifying and changing your thinking and beliefs about the pain, which in turn can decrease your stress and overall suffering. Because of the two parts—pain and suffering—pain management must also have two components: physical and psychological. The way people sense or experience pain—its intensity and duration—will affect how well they are able to manage it. 

Anticipation of an expected pain level (i.e., anticipatory pain) can influence the degree to which pain is experienced. In some cases, when the anticipatory level of pain expectation is lowered, the brain responds by influencing special neurons.  This renders the brain less responsive to an incoming pain signal. Herein lays the rationale to include biofeedback, positive self-talk, meditation, and relaxation response training as part of your pain management treatment plan.

To learn more about dealing with the psychological component of chronic pain please check out my article Coping with Anticipatory Pain that you can download for free on our website.