Living Life to the Fullest as We Face Adversity

Posted on Monday, July the 5th at 4:58pm

Dr. Stephen F. Grinstead, LMFT, ACRPS, CADC-II

I believe that life is meant to be lived to the fullest.  The phrase “living life to fullest” has changed significantly for me over the past three decades.  Before my injury over 28 years ago my definition of living life to the fullest was to push my body during Karate practice as far as I could.  My dream was to open my own Karate Dojo and teach other people the martial art I had learned to love with a great passion.  I was in my early 30s and in my mind anything was possible.

After my injury I lost all hope of ever teaching martial arts again.  In fact, I almost lost my will to live and seriously considered that my life was not worth living if I couldn’t do what I loved.  Today I’m so grateful I didn’t give up and allow feelings of hopelessness and helplessness to overwhelm me.  Instead I made the decision to live the best life I could with the circumstances I was given.  I embarked on an intense grieving process that took almost three years; today I can honestly say I have the life of my dreams and that I continue to live life to the fullest.

Another major factor that often defines “living life to fullest” is the adversity of aging.  As we grow older we may not physically be able to do the things we used to, even if we aren’t living with a chronic pain condition.  But if are faced with managing a chronic pain condition, we have more challenges to overcome.  My Karate Sensei (teacher) Master Richard Kim once told us a story about living with adversity that I would like to share with you.

If you are training and break your toe, be grateful it wasn’t your foot.  If you break your foot, be grateful it wasn’t your leg.  And if you break your leg, be grateful it didn’t kill you.  And if you die, be grateful you don’t have to finish this class.  The moral of this lesson is; whenever you hit an obstacle or difficult time, say “thank you adversity for yet another test.”

For me “living life to the fullest” means maintaining an attitude of gratitude.  As I age I’m grateful for all the experiences I’ve gathered and all the knowledge I’m capturing.  I’m grateful for all the people who give meaning to life: my wife Ellen, my mother, my friends and colleagues and especially my recovering brothers and sisters.  Instead of feeling depressed about all the things I can’t do, I try to stay grateful for everything that is possible for me today.  I look upon my chronic pain condition as another thing to be grateful for, along with my ability to maintain a successful pain management plan. 

One major goal of any effective chronic pain management plan includes appropriate activity pacing based on a continuum.  On one end is the person who always does too much; while on the other end is the very sedentary person who does almost nothing.  When developing an activity pacing plan we need to pay attention to any limitations that either the aging process or our chronic pain condition places in our way. 

Some of us do not want to accept those limitations, so we do too much.  We hurt ourselves and then can’t do much of anything—believe me I’ve been there and done that.  I needed an activity pacing plan that could slow me down.  On the other hand some people use aging as an excuse not to push at all.  Or because they are living with chronic pain they believe they can’t have a good life because of their condition.  These people need more of a jump start and encouragement to develop an appropriate activity pacing plan that supports them to get up and move.

One final suggestion for anyone living with chronic pain is to stop making pain your adversary.  It’s time to make friends with your pain.  For many people this idea is very challenging, but in my experience I have found that it is a crucial step on the way to a better quality of life.  You must stop fighting and make peace with your pain.  Today I can honestly say I’m grateful for my initial injury.  Living with chronic pain for almost three decades has had its rewards.  I get to work with others who are living with and often suffering with chronic pain; I am privileged to teach other healthcare providers how to more effectively serve their pain patients; and most importantly, I can say that I am living my life to the fullest once again.