Bob’s Story
Posted on Friday, December the 28th at 7:12pm
By: Dr. Stephen F. Grinstead, LMFT, ACRPS, CADC-II I want to share a story of a very remarkable man, Bob G. I’ve known him all my life because he is my father. Bob spent most of his life working hard and providing for his family. Even in retirement he was very active and enjoying life the best he could. Then in May 2002, at the age of 71 Bob’s health took a major turn for the worse, and in fact he died in the hospital and was resuscitated. In less than a week he underwent three major surgeries and unfortunately developed a nasty staff infection that left him with severe nerve damage and loss of sensation in his lower body. At one point Bob was told that he would never walk again and was lucky to just be alive. Bob would not accept that and chased out the occupational health specialist who was trying to teach him how to live as an invalid. He told everyone that he would walk again that he was not going to just lay down and accept this. For two years he was on an uphill battle. At times he was able to walk without a walker and at other times he had difficulty even standing up. In addition to all this he also contracted an infection called MRSA (methicillin-resistant S. aureus )—a life threatening infection that attacks nerves and causes severe neuropathic pain. The story of courage continued with Bob not being willing to settle for life in a wheelchair (or a walker) so he kept looking for ways to overcome his adversity. He found that medication was not all that was needed and in fact discovered that physical therapy and ultra sound treatments did more for him than anything else. I worked very close with Bob and his doctors attempting to find medication management and rehabilitation strategies that would be the best and safest for him. I wish all of my patients were as proactive as Bob; if they were their recovery process would improve dramatically. In May of 2004 Bob experienced another medical problem and while he was in the hospital he decided to cut back on the number of medications he was taking and unfortunately also stopped his antidepressant. At times like that life got too difficult for Bob and he felt depressed, a part of him wanted to give up. He was at higher risk for depression because he had stopped his antidepressant and he didn’t understand that the medication not only helped him cope with the depression caused by living in constant pain, but also helped with his pain management. As all of this was going on Bob was also diagnosed with Lupas Anticoagulant disease—a condition that caused his body to form dangerous blood clots. He was put on some of the most powerful anticoagulant medications but his body continued to form blood clots, especially in his legs. He needed yet another surgery to put in a filter to stop the clots from going into his heart. He went back on his medication afterward but not before he hit a very low point and decided to write about it. I’m printing his unedited words in the table below—titled Why??? Parts One & Two—so other can see how Bob created meaning out of adversity. The most important point I want to emphasize is how determined Bob was to not give up and continue to move forward in his goal to be the best he could be and find meaning out of adversity. WHY ??? Part One Bob G. June 8,2004 I’ve wondered a thousand times, why did God do this to me, I guess he could have just “took me” instead of leaving me here like this, but in His wisdom, chose to leave me like this. The hardest part(s) are that I was such a Bull all my life, and a worker, leader, and always able to accomplish anything I set out to do, and the most important, I was able to care for my darlin Margie Ann. Now, I can’t even care for myself, and in a time in our lives that Margie Ann needs my help more than she ever has, and I can’t do a damn thing about it. I guess I should just be thankful that I’m alive, but after the life I’ve lived and experienced, this is not really living, it’s just “existing”, and I know how hard it is on all of my family, I can see it in their eyes when they look at what’s left of me. I especially see it in those who were so very close to me, and I know it hurts them to see me like this. I have tried my very hardest to “beat” this horrible thing, and, I’m not going to give up, I guess God forgot to put any “quit bones” in me, and with His help, maybe I can still beat this thing. If I can’t, I’m not afraid of dieing, I’ve never did anything in my life that would cause me to fear death, the only “hurt” would be leaving my Margie Ann here without me. I love my whole family dearly, but, I can’t stand the thought of not having Margie Ann beside me. None of us expect to live forever, including me, but I find it very hard to understand and to cope with, why I was left here in my present condition. Maybe the challenge isn’t over yet, maybe I will just have to try harder to regain my former self, one thing for sure, I will not be a “quitter”, as long as there’s breath in me, I will do everything I can to try and get able to take care of my Woman again. Bob, “AKA” Dad, Grampa, Papa WHY ?? Part Two Day 2, Bob G. June 9,2004 After much soul searching, and I hope “positive thinking”, regardless of my present physical condition, if I had not survived the crisis two years ago, I started thinking about what I would have missed, and came to these conclusions: [1]. I would have missed two years of seeing and being close to my number one purpose in life, my Margie Ann (Bob’s wife of 55 years at the time). The time with her is “priceless”, regardless of my state of health, her beautiful & loving face smiling at me every day, encouraging me, and loving me, and taking such good care of me, both physically and mentally. This close relationship between us is absolutely priceless, and I thank God for these two years with her. [2]. I also would have missed the new little lives coming into our family, and watching and loving all our little ones already here who come & share their love with us. I also would have missed the accomplishments our family has made, and seeing the deep love in these families when they come to see us. I would also have missed our Christmas eve’s and dinners with our beloved children, Grandchildren, & the ever growing number of our Great Grandkids, all coming to share their love with us. I would have missed the constant “visits” by all our loved ones, and them bringing love, smiles and happiness to our home. [3] I would have missed the chance(s) to help and give my love and support to all our family members who need it, this is a sacred obligation that I don’t take lightly, and I hope I have instilled this in those who follow me. We “OWE” our children all of our support and love for bringing them into this world, and we would be very poor examples if we ever neglect their needs, and fail to help them, regardless of their ages or circumstances, THIS IS A SACRED OBLIGATION on all of us in this family. [4] Finally, I would have missed the opportunity when I wake up every day, to try and make someone else’s life a little bit better, and to always extend a “helping hand” to any who need it. It’s easy by the present world’s standards to ignore the needs of others, but I believe it’s my sacred duty to reach out my hand and say, “Here, let me help you”; I know you are in need, and the only debt that you owe me is, “To pass it on to yours in need.” Bob, “AKA” Dad, Grampa, Papa Bob’s ordeal continued for a little more than three years and he always persevered. If all of the patients I work with were half as motivated as Bob it would make my job so much easier—and their lives so much better. Unfortunately the three or four months before he died Bob was physically wearing down. This did not break his spirit; however, and I worked with him and his doctors to make sure he had the best medication management plan possible to give him the best quality of life under the circumstances. In the weeks before his death Bob was able to confide in me that he had enough and was ready for God to take him home. I am so grateful that he trusted me enough to share this and I didn’t try to talk him out of his feelings. Even though he felt like dying he lived every day to the fullest possible extent and was ready to die with dignity. In the end it was the Lupas Anticoagulant disorder that was too much for Bob’s fighting spirit. He was rushed to the emergency room and had surgery but the surgeon found that the problem was much too extensive this time. As his beloved Margie Ann and the rest of our family gathered around; we all said goodbye to Bob. I’m so grateful that I was able to share with him how proud of him I was and how much I loved him. I held his hand as he finally died. I miss Bob so much but at the same time I am so grateful that his ordeal is finally over. Robert D. Grinstead Sr, Memorial Biography Born May 21, 1931 — Died September 30, 2007 A giant among men and our patriarch left us early Sunday morning, 30 September 2007. Bob was born on 21 May 1931 in La Junta, Colorado. After over five years of superhuman struggle, his body finally succumbed to the crippling affliction that also tried but failed to take his spirit.
Bob came from the humblest of beginnings to forge a sterling and legendary career with the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers (IBEW). Doing every job from digging ditches in the frozen ground to working on high voltage power lines in the sweltering heat of summer, Bob rose through the ranks of the IBEW. Most unusually in the electrical trade, Bob was both a Journeyman Lineman and a Journeyman Wireman. After fifteen years of back-breaking physical labor, Bob became the Business Manager for Local #12 of the IBEW. For twenty-one years in this position, Bob excelled at leading and taking care of “his” workers. Bob’s final tour of duty with the IBEW lasted ten years as an International Representative in charge of organizing. In this position, Bob showed a remarkable talent for teaching. This assignment helped push Bob’s influence all across the nation and added volumes to the legend of this amazing man and his concern for the working man.
In spite of all this, if you asked Bob what his greatest and proudest accomplishment was, he would say his family. Bob is survived by the light and love of his life, Margie Ann Grinstead, his beloved wife of fifty-eight years.
Through their love and their shared Catholic faith, Bob and Margie brought forth nine sons: Steve, Howard, Robert Jr., Gary, Greg, Chris, John, Mark, and Kurt. Through the marriages of their sons, they brought four daughters into the family, Ellen, Vicky, Dianne and Teri. Never where they allowed to be introduced as “Daughter-in-Laws” it was simply our daughters.
Those sons and daughters brought forth twenty-six grandchildren: Shannon, Robert III, Robbie, Faith, Krissie, Grace, Ashley, Margie, Gary, Greg II, Karen, Michael, Melany, John, Katie, Zane, Danny, Mark Jr., Kristie, Julie, Nick, Annie, Jessica, Arthur, Rachel, and Anna.
Those grandchildren have so far brought forth twenty-six great-grandchildren: Regina, Kooper, Sonny, Rocco, Cruz, Reyna, Lucas, Josh, Wayne, Greg III, Hayden, Brandon, Eric, Morgaine, A.J., Ariel, Peyton, Mariana, Domonique, Bernardino, Emiliana, Anthony, Giovani, Alyssa, Madison, Rylee.
These grandkids will always remember their “Grandpa Bob.” He was the best storyteller and the greatest Grandpa anyone ever had. Bob is also survived by his two sisters, Nadine Rowden and Jerry Beth Lewis.
Bob will always be with us. He has made us all better through his example of strength and we will forever carry with us the power of his devotion and love.
We love you, Bob… Dad… Bobby… Papa… Grandpa.
You can see Bob’s Living Memorial at www.mem.com Then type in the search box “Robert Grinstead”
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